Angry Children - Dealing with Anger in Adults and Kids

Anger is a natural defense against sensing real danger. It is a normal response to stress. Anger helps us to defend and assert ourselves, and it readies us to get into action. But sometimes we overreact and anger can trump reason. Sometimes getting too angry can cause us to react inappropriately. Learning to deal with anger in an acceptable manner is an important aspect of getting what we want.

When we hold back our angry feelings, it can affect our physical health as well as our emotional well being.

Anger can actually be a healthy emotion when it is expressed in a way that lets us share our feelings and our opinions. But the key is to express what we want to say in a calm way. By expressing it clearly, and in a non threatening, and non aggressive way, it can help us to change a situation, improve things, solve a problem, or resolve a conflict. When we hold anger in, we may very likely let it out in an explosive and unhealthy way.

Being verbally or physically abusive, fighting, hitting, kicking, biking, and hurting someone else are inappropriate ways to express anger.

Helping kids to express their anger is healthy for them now, and in their future.

As a parent, one of the best ways to teach your children how to appropriately deal with anger is to set a good example for them. Parents are the prime example children see as a model of their own behavior. Parents are very important teachers to their children.

By trying to resolve issues using words, instead of violence is a wonderful way to help guide your children to doing the same thing.

Anger is healthy. Anger is a natural feeling. Anger is an important tool to set boundaries. But anger can get overblown. It can get out of hand, and when this happens, there are only negative consequences.

Physical and verbal abuse is never helpful in expressing anger. It is not a useful or effective outlet of this emotion.

Some children may need professional help to deal with their anger. It is better to do this as early as possible.

People who are dealing with anger issues can do several things to help themselves avoid getting angry

• meditation is a good way to relax yourself by focusing on your breathing

• think about something else

• put yourself in a relaxing and soothing place

• give yourself some quiet time

• spend time with your pet or a friend’s pet. Dogs and cats are known to have a pacifying effect on people, by lowering blood pressure and relaxing a person in many ways. Fish in a fish tank are known to have a calming effect on people as they watch the fish swim about.

• exercise may help release some pent up stress.

• eat right, stay away from caffeine, and sugar

• be helpful to others. It can be very satisfying to help other people, and volunteering. This feeling of doing good can reduce anger.

• forgiveness can help alleviate frustration.

• reduce your stress levels

• avoid multitasking

• try not to take on too many responsibilities

• learn to say no

Children can feel angry because they are frustrated. If their anger does not have a healthy outlet, they will continually let their anger build up. This can lead to problems in their relationship with their parents, teachers, and peers. They may become bullies and turn into angry adults.

Sources of anger for children can arise from:

• learning disabilities

• problems within their families, for example, divorce or illness, or financial situations

• social problems with friends

• hyperactivity

• physical coordination

• abuse from someone else or witnessing abuse

It is important to recognize anger and its related behavior in children. You may see it in their over reaction to simple requests. Their mood may have changed over long periods of time.

Their grades may have dropped in school. If you notice they have withdrawn socially or have lost friends, they may be harboring angry feelings about their plight. Take notice of their eating and sleeping habits. Does your child seem moody or irritable. Are they impolite to other people.

Are they provoking fights with others. Have they lost interest in keeping themselves looking their best. Do they blame other people for their problems?

Anger is something that needs an outlet. Helping your child to be in touch with their feelings is an important aspect for them to understand their anger. Talking to someone they trust is a good way to alleviate the build up of feelings. A friend, a spouse, a parent, clergy, or a trained counselor can help people put things into perspective. Talking about the things that cause anger is helpful to working out a child’s problem.